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Muddy Reviews: The Bank House Hotel & Spa

Looking for a getaway that packs a punch? This 4* getaway features a luxe spa, a golf club, the Malvern Hills on your doorstep, oh, and an epic-level Penthouse suite. Read on for our review of the Bank House Hotel.

THE LOWDOWN

Overlooking the stunning Malvern Hills, The Bank House Hotel & Golf Club is a bit of a getaway gem. Located three miles from the bright lights and boutiques of Worcester one way, and the pretty spa town of Malvern the other way, it has that holy grail of rural bliss mixed with classy urban adventure on tap.

Dating from the 17th-century the hotel is family-run and packs a really impressive host of features. Tucked off the A4013, it boasts an 18-hole golf course, a clubhouse serving food and drink, a bar and an a la carte restaurant and also a highly reputed spa featuring a gym, a lovely indoor pool, a sauna, a steam room and plenty of treatments.

THE VIBE

Relaxed, modern and sophisticated are the first impressions you get of the Bank House Hotel. With a great event space next door (but away from the main room meaning your zzz’s won’t get disturbed) it’s a place that would be a top choice for brides-to-be, anniversary couples, birthday celebrations and more. But on the other hand it feels like the perfect place for a chilled getaway ‘a deux’ too.

I made a beeline for the lovely terrace and garden area outside for a Wye Valley Smoked Salmon Sandwich (a lovely chunky doorstep of a sandwich) when I arrived to make the most of the gorgeous Bank Holiday weather. A really nice suntrap with the Malvern Hills on the horizon it’s a lovely place to hang out. Despite the staff being reduced our waiter went over and above to get people seated and served, with some great banter to boot – a feeling of relaxed friendliness that ran through our stay.

SCOFF & QUAFF

We ate in the Garden Restaurant, although you can also have dinner alfresco on the terrace which would be lovely watching the sun set over the Malverns. The menu for dinner is currently the same as the lunch menu, although I was informed it is usually more extensive in normal times with various specials added in. But it did not disappoint, there are an assortment of grills, burgers, mains and pizzas to go for.

I chose the Superfood Salad (£7.95) to start (above). Our waiter told us it is so good demand for the recipe became some kind of Instagram hit recently with people desperate to know the recipe. It was certainly a really tasty mix of tangy lentils and quinoa all mixed up with jewelled pomegranate seeds and greens. A very generous portion too which is always nice. The secret? I reckon it has to be the Lemon Sherbert Dressing.

For mains the fish of the day, a hake fillet with pea mash and greens, a simple but tasty dish.

And my Muddy plus went for the Herefordshire Aged Rump Steak (£18.95) which was really good, and got polished off pretty quickly.

Dessert for me had to be the Chocolate Brownie (£6.50) – and it was absolutely spot on for a big hit of chocolatey pleasure, paired with mint ice cream we couldn’t fault it, and once again really generous portions went down a treat.

And Mr T ordered the Vegan Chocolate Pot (£6.50) with raspberries (below) which was incredibly good and really jazzily presented too.

PILLOW TALK

I have stayed in my fair share of rooms as a hotel reviewer, but I have never stayed in a Penthouse Suite as enormous as the one here. If you want absolutely tip-top luxury twinned with tons of space for you and your hen-do homies or other half to spread out in like royalty, this is the one to book.

It describes itself as the ‘epitome of luxury’ and it’s not wrong. Taking up the whole top floor of the hotel, you open the door to more than 2,500 square feet of glam getaway.

As well as a feature bathtub overlooking the Malvern Hills, there are (wait for it): two further bedrooms, a lounge complete with crystal chandelier, dining table and drinks cabinet (amazing for a private dining experience for your and some mates), a kitchen, two bathrooms, a dressing room area (loved this) and a study. I may have missed something out.

I genuinely got lost walking around! And it’s beautifully decked out in deep carpets, gold and cream colour schemes and big velvety beds with matching throws.

Located in the oldest part of the hotel there may be no lift, but it’s worth the effort of wrestling your case up four flights of stairs for the reward (a lovely, helpful receptionist happily helped me out).

Design-wise it’s symphony of gold, cream and white furnishings, with deep squishy carpets and fresh thread count linen on the beds. I can’t lie, I felt thoroughly Kardashian as I flopped on the super king bed doing bed-angels on the off-the-scale thread count sheets.

The master bedroom is absolutely beautiful. You get a freestanding bath with stunning views out to the Malverns and there’s even a silver champagne bucket so you can drink (or bathe??) in it should you so wish. The room had two flat screen TVs, depending on where you want to watch it the sofa or the bed (soo rock and roll).

It’s the perfect choice for a wedding or hen party (a main event room is just downstairs). But also perfect for a girls weekend, family get together, or if you love your partner but really like space.

If Kardashian-style living is not on your agenda (I highly recommend it though) there are 66 other tastefully decorated guest rooms, all of which feature the go-tos from modern en-suite bathrooms, whirlpool tubs, to free WiFi and 32-inch flatscreens to choose from.

WHAT ELSE?

The Spa here is really amazing. I booked in for a massage and it was an hour of pure bliss. Called a Drift Away (£65 for 60 minutes) it does exactly what it promises, I did actually fall asleep. A deeply relaxing top-to-toe massage, with a dreamy blend of Temple Spa Mediterranean essential oils including Frankincense, Lavender and Patchouli. I had gone in feeling quite frazzled after a week of piled-up deadlines, but an hour later it had all melted away.

The rest of the afternoon was spent enjoying the spectacular heated pool and adjoining relaxation room, in a fluffy dressing gown and slippers. The pool itself is gorgeous, nicely heated and has a lovely aspect looking out over landscaped gardens, plus there’s a nail bar too where you can get a pampering manicure whilst sipping on champagne should you so wish.

MUDDY VERDICT

Could there be anywhere more perfect for a super-glam getaway? The Penthouse gets our vote if you want a slice of the high life for the weekend and somewhere you’ll be talking about still months down the line. As a hotel it’s a great all-rounder that offers a modern, comfy setting with a friendly atmosphere.

Good for:

If you’re looking for a hotel with modern facilities and a super comfortable night’s sleep, perfect for a special girls (or guys) weekend away, big occasions or just a romantic night away for two.

Not for:

Dog-lovers. The hotel is a pooch-free zone, which may deter some, otherwise it has something for everyone.

The damage:

The Penthouse starts at £450 room only,
https://www.bankhouseworcester.com/offers/penthouse-romance-break/

Or, check in for the value staycation package from just £350 for two nights:
https://www.bankhouseworcester.com/offers/accommodation/staycation/

Or the Spa Break package which starts at £145pp:
https://www.bankhouseworcester.com/spa/stay-sunday-spa-monday/

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